


speak now or forever hold your peace

by futurefishes



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Unrequited Love, Weddings, nagisa and rei are also mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 07:09:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15925421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futurefishes/pseuds/futurefishes
Summary: His heart is screaming for him to stop the wedding, tell Makoto you love him, that you can’t live without him, that you loved him first, that you love him, tell him that you love him.This is your last chance.





	speak now or forever hold your peace

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!
> 
> first of all, sorry for any spelling/grammar errors. it's in the middle of the night and i should be asleep but i wrote this instead because i got a lot of inspiration and i just couldn't NOT write it  
> this is my first soumako fic, so i hope you'll like it! the idea came to me randomly, and it's written all in the same sitting, so there might be some errors here and there.
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoy and thank you for checking this fic out!!

Sousuke hates to admit it, but he had never seen the chapel so pretty.

It’s white and light interior is covered in flowers, from the ceilings to the top of the walls. He imagines that it had been Gou who had put the idea forth. The bright flowers in pink, blue and red made the whole atmosphere magical, made the whole ceremony in front of him shine as if it was in a fairytale.

The bright flowers actually made him forget about the ceremony for a few moments; moments that were blissful and that didn’t hurt, moments that he wish he could stay in for a little longer. But the low voice of the priest breaks through his thoughts without as much as asking, and he’s dragged back to reality against his will.

As the priest continues to talk, Sousuke’s eyes falls onto the married couple to be. He can feel himself frown.

He shouldn’t feel like this about two of his best friends’ wedding, but he can’t help it.

The one he wants is half of the pair standing in front of the priest, looking sheepishly and nervously over at the priest as he talks.

Makoto looks stunning - which he, to be fair, always has, but something about the way his frame fills the white suit he’s currently wearing makes Sousuke’s heart melt. Makoto’s brown hair is slicked back, his forehead showing now that his bangs are pushed away. His pink lips, that Sousuke more than once had dreamed of kissing, were forming a smile that made the audience aware of his nerves. But the smile also made the close friends and family of the couple see how truly happy Makoto was to stand there, holding onto Gou’s slender fingers, as the priest repeats words he must have said at countless wedding ceremonies before this. 

Maybe it’s the happiness that hurts Sousuke the most; that Makoto is happy, while he is not. The fact that when Sousuke is crying himself to sleep, imagining what it would feel like to sleep next to the brown-haired male, said man is lying next to Gou, probably cuddling into her side while her arms wrap around his frame as they both enter a deep sleep.

But then again, maybe it’s Sousuke’s fault for being too naive, and for taking Makoto’s friendship for something else. The small touches of fingers and the moments where they would be leaning into each other’s warmth during one of their usual movie nights were maybe nothing more than pure friendship. How they told each other everything that was going on in his life and how they didn’t need a filter on what they said to each other. How Sousuke felt like he could be himself around him might have been a part of their friendship too.

Rin’s not-so-quiet sobs are starting to sound throughout the chapel for the nth time since the ceremony began, and Sousuke’s eyes are dragged away from the happy couple to fall onto one of his best friends, standing in the line of five that make out the best men that Makoto and Gou chose. 

When Rin had walked his sister down the aisle a few minutes ago, he had been so proud. He was walking with his back straight as he held onto Gou’s arm, his sister clad in a big, white and luxurious dress, sending Makoto a grin when he saw his friend’s jaw drop at the sight of his sister. 

Rin was, of course, still proud, but also very emotional. The tears that continue to fall down onto his cheeks seemed to be never-ending, even as Haru, his husband and rival in swimming, is doing his best to wipe them away. 

As Haru’s hand comes up to wipe away another tear on his husband’s cheek, the silver band sends a reflection of light Sousuke’s way as the light from the lamp in the ceiling landed onto the metallic surface.

That’s right. It had been that night, that Sousuke’s life had changed direction. 

Rin and Haru’s ceremony a year earlier had been a rollercoaster of emotion for everyone involved; it was a fun ceremony, which is what you could’ve expected since they both left the planning to Nagisa and Rei, who had been a bit  _ too _ happy to comply. Rin had probably never cried so much in one evening, over everything from how thankful he was for Nagisa and Rei to how beautiful Haru looked to how he “ _ can’t believe this is actually happening _ ”. The fact that even Haru’s cheeks ended up wet from his own tears had turned the ceremony into a crying-fest at one point. 

Somewhere in the middle of all the tears and celebrations, as well as his duty as best man, Sousuke’s eyes had landed on Makoto’s frame, a frame that he could make out no matter how crowded the room was. He held two glasses of champagne in his hands, figuring that one would be given to his friend, but he stopped before he reached him when he finally saw his friend clearly.

Gou’s hands had already found Makoto’s brown locks when Sousuke’s eyes landed on the scene. Makoto’s lips were hungrily kissing the girl, as if there wasn’t anyone else in the world that he wanted more.

Which, in retrospect, seems to have been a logical statement.

He remembers sneaking away the moment Gou let out a small moan at the way Makoto’s teeth dug into her pink lips, putting the glasses down on a table he walks past. He’s glad he doesn’t have to explain himself, the other guests of the party too drunk to notice his current state of mind. 

He had spent about half an hour locked into the bathroom, crying quietly, before leaving the celebrations without speaking a word to anyone.

( _ The next day when Rin asked where he went, he tells him that he didn’t feel well and had to go home. Somewhere in the way his friend speaks Sousuke understands that he knows the truth, but Sousuke is more than relieved that he doesn’t mention it _ ). 

Makoto had mentioned it in by-passing the next time they had met, which had taken a while; Sousuke was determined to ignore his crush’s presence for a while, in an failed attempt to get over him, and it wasn’t until a lecture they both were attending that they ran into each other. 

The conversation had been slightly awkward, Makoto trying to apologize for not telling him earlier and Sousuke trying to convince his friend that he was  _ fine, it’s okay. It really is. _

( _ He’s really not fine _ ).

Their friendship doesn’t stop, and Sousuke watches as Makoto grows more comfortable around his girlfriend at the same time as the pain in his own chest grows bigger. He’s there during one of their first fights and he’s there when he proposes, when Gou jumps into Makoto’s arms before he even gets to pop the question.

Of course, he’s here now, when they’re getting married as well.

His heart is hurting, as it has been doing non-stop for over a year now. He would’ve thought that he’d be used to the pain by now, but he finds that he really isn’t.

His heart is screaming for him  _ to stop the wedding, tell Makoto you love him, that you can’t live without him, that you loved him first, that you love him, tell him that you love him.  _

The priest coughs slightly to make his voice clear, and Sousuke’s voice is loud in his head.

_ This is your last chance. _

“Speak now,” the priest’s low voice speaks out over the chapel, that now has turned silent. “Or forever hold your peace.”

Sousuke gulps, his heart beating in his chest; all that he wants to do is to stand up and tell them all that he opposes this, all that he wants is to let everyone know that he loves Makoto too. It takes everything inside of him to press the impulses down, and it takes so much energy just to keep himself seated.

But suddenly the impulses come to a stop, and Sousuke slumps into his seat.

He stops, because the terrified look on Rin’s face is making him feel guilty.

He stops, because the happy smile on Gou’s lips whenever she looks over at Makoto makes her shine.

He stops, because the small smile Makoto sends his way as their eyes meet makes him feel warm inside.

“Will you, Tachibana Makoto, take Matsuoka Gou as your wife?” The priest asks, and the audience take a collective sigh of relief. Makoto’s smile turns into a grin. Sousuke can feel his own lips form something similar to a smile. 

“I do,” Makoto say with a stable and loud voice. Gou grins at the answer.

“Will you, Matsuoka Gou, take Tachibana Makoto as your husband?”

“I do.”

Sousuke takes a deep breath through his nose.

“I now pronounce you wife and husband. You may now kiss the bride.”

As Makoto’s lips find Gou’s in a kiss similar to the one from a year ago, Sousuke lets the air out from his mouth. The crowd is cheering for the couple, and Rin is once again crying, his sobs almost out voicing the loud happiness from the guests.

It’s over now. Sousuke’s time and chance of ever getting to be something with the man of his dream is gone.

He laughs under his breath. He might’ve been a fool for thinking it, but the smile Makoto sent him had made him think it would feel better when it was over.

_ But no. _

He looks over at the married couple and watches the happiness on Makoto’s face as they pull away from each other. 

_ His heart still hurts. _


End file.
